Anger Management, The Enemy Is You, Learn How To React
I have spent much of my life actively dealing with anger issues. It gets activated when I don’t like how I am being treated or if I feel the need to defend others.
The good news is that I recognize my reactions and I am working to pause
consciously and breathe before flipping out. I have worked so much on “self-regulation” and I know it is working. My relationships with others is so much better now.
I just finished reading a book titled “Love Your Enemies” written by Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman. I hope you are not surprised to hear that the only real enemy you have is yourself. Others that you believe are your enemies are only that way because you let them have that affect on you. Simple!
“There is a story about the Buddha that points to such wisdom. One day the Buddha was walking across a plot of land when a man came up and angrily started shaking his fist in the Buddha’s face, saying he has no right to be walking there. The Buddha looked at the man a said, “Tell me, if you prepared a lovely gift for someone, and you reached out to give it to them but they refused to accept it, to who, would the gift belong?” “To me, of course,” the man replied. “Just so,” the Buddha said. “I’m not accepting your gift of your anger. Therefore, it remains with you.” (from “Love Your Enemies”)
If you expect to parent, teach, coach, or manage others and get the most out of them, using anger as a motivational tool will not be effective. It has always amazed me that so many people don’t get this at all!
responses never work, are counterproductive and alienate people.
Reactions based on anger also degrade a manager’s or leader’s
effectiveness and credibility. Plus, you just feel real bad after you do it.
Son of a Postman